I was commuting home the other day. My route involves the Sea Bus, a boat/bus type thing that goes across the Burrard Inlet from Vancouver to North Vancouver (aka North Shore). I love this ride. It’s a unique way to transit, and I get to ride on the ocean while looking at the beautiful mountains I live among. It allows for a lot of thinking and for peaceful, mindful moments to be appreciated.
Today on this ride my thoughts went to this concept of “soulmates”. And this thought took a few more turns and I ended up on “living in the present.” So, I thought, I’d write this little route down, as it was an interesting walk from A to B, at least it was for me (and hey, it’s my blog, so, you know, there.).
I see a lot of Facebook posts about finding a soul mate. I know a few folks who believe we are destined to meet people from other lives, and that we still have karmic material to work out with them. I get that line of thinking, and, who knows, maybe we do. But when it comes to our present lives, these lives with the current people in the incarnations as we know them, I am just not sure how useful it is to hold to an idea of past lives and past people and soul mates.
After all, aren’t ALL our connections in THIS life, or any other, a soul connection? And, isn’t that the bit we miss when we are stuck looking for this “soul mate or mates”? I know we all want this deep, profound, amazing connection with our “other”, I do also. But I also think, we can’t develop our current relationships, our lovers, our friends, or social circle – if we are always stuck wondering if they “should” be in our lives at all. Is this the one? Are they the soul mate? How many articles are there on soul mates and identifying the ONE anyway? Hundreds? I have seen my share to be sure. What about, instead of worrying about THE ONE, we concentrate on the ONE right in front of us? Okay, sure, maybe they aren’t forever, but, isn’t that okay? Would it not be more rewarding to embrace and develop our current relationship to the levels they can go? Perhaps we would be surprised?
And that brings me to the present. I get that our life’s past has an effect on how we act and feel and behave on our life, and for those who believe, our past lives may have that impact also. But today, I really have this strong sense of just letting it ALL go. Because, LIFE. Because I DON’T want to hold on to it anymore. I don’t have to either. What I really want to do is embrace the people in my life, right now. I want to see them for who they are, in all their good, bad, ugly, glorious ways, and be OKAY with them. I want to delve into my relationship with my partner as deeply as I can and appreciate and have gratitude for him, while he is here. Does that mean I won’t experience pain? Hell no. But if or when some pain comes from a relationship, I know I can move on taking all that is good and that I learned and be richer for having had it at all.
That’s where the present has it over the past. When I know that shit will happen and it’s okay to happen anyway. I know that I can take the pain and grief and transmute it to a growth experience. People are always going to disappoint and hurt us. People are flawed, they have walls, armour, behavior issues… and by people I mean ALL people (I would put healers and gurus in the “especially flawed” category – that’s a different article altogether however). I’m not going to kick someone out of my life for not being what I expect them to be. Instead, I’m going to appreciate what they DO give me. I’m not going to kick my partner out of my life because he isn’t everything I wish him to be, instead, I’m going to embrace him for all he does do and is. And I’m not going to negate all the good and wonderful parts of my life, because some of it has had the audacity of being genuinely shitty.
So, here it is – I want to gather up my past and if there are any, my past lives, put them in a bundle, put it to a fire and cremate its ashes. I will say a prayer of thanks for showing me a million strange, wonderful and awful things. But I will let it burn, and be okay with that. Right here and now is where I want to settle, and when I really sink into that, yeah, that feels pretty damn good. Right here and now is not without its challenges, and that’s okay. I’m opening up a new book – let’s call from today forward, Chapter 1. Year 2015. Let’s see where we go, what we see, and who we love. I look forward to the journey.